Last night, I correctly predicted the entrants to the Super Bowl with a remarkable amount of confidence and self-assurance. “Patriots, Giants,” I said without hesitation and, lo and behold, I wasn’t just right. I was Super Right!

So I now think I’m some sort of seer. Here, without any more hemming and hawing, are my predictions for this year’s Oscar nominations! Hopefully, tomorrow morning we’ll see that I’ve gotten every single one right and you can praise me for my genius. If I don’t get every one, then I’ve failed you… and I’m sorry.

Best Picture

The Artist

The Descendants

Hugo

The Help

Moneyball

The Tree of Life

(The Oscars could nominate anywhere from five to ten movies. I’m going with six movies here. Most people are giving the fifth slot, for that well-liked crowd-pleaser, to Midnight in Paris, but my gut tells me that Moneyball slips in and Midnight just misses the cut. As for The Tree of Life – it could never garner enough support to come close to a win since so many people will leave it off their ballot completely. But what matters here is that people put your movie first, and if someone is putting Tree of Life on their ballot, it’s going to be listed first. For this reason, I think Terrence Malick’s film slips in to a sixth slot.)

Best Actor

George Clooney, The Descendants

Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Brad Pitt, Moneyball

Michael Fassbender, Shame

Gary Oldman, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

(Please, please, please leave Leo out of this and give Gary Oldman his first Oscar nomination for a wonderful performance in a movie that it does not hurt to watch. And please give Michael Fassbender his due for ending a banner year with a striking performance in a movie it is hard to watch.)

Best Actress

Viola Davis, The Help

Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn

Tilda Swinton, We Need To Talk About Kevin

Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

(Glenn Close is supposed to make the cut here for a movie you still haven’t seen and probably won’t see for a long time, Albert Nobbs. I just don’t think it happens. I think that Mara has garnered enough momentum to push past a performance many Academy voters may not have even seen in a movie many others may not have liked.)

Best Supporting Actor

Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Albert Brooks, Drive

Nick Nolte, Warrior

Jonah Hill, Moneyball

Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn

(The question is whether Max Van Sydow makes the cut for a movie no one passionately liked and many fervently disliked, Extremely Loud or Incredibly Close. Nick Nolte probably passes him.)

Best Supporting Actress

Octavia Spencer, The Help

Berenice Bejo, The Artist

Shailene Woodley, The Descendants

Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids

Jessica Chastain, The Help

Best Director

Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Martin Scorcese, Hugo

Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris

Alexander Payne, The Descendants

David Fincher, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

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